Broken....

Just broken...It's not even heartbreak. I am broken, I am just gone. Yet another one of these blogs. Why, I wonder? Is it worth it? I sadly think so, and it's sad, and pitiful, but what am I to do? The person that I am in love with just decided that he didn't want to be with me anymore. Why? I would love to know that. It came to such a shock to me. I am still in shock. 8 months, for what? To have my heart broken and be completely miserable? I am so sick of hearing all of my friends tell me I am so great, I am an amazing and caring person. Really? Is that really true? Because I call bullshit. If I am so great, then why did he leave me? Why did he chose to dump me and not even tell me why? What did I do to deserve this? And who dumps someone a week before Christmas? I feel like I am in one of those snow globes, and someone picked it up, and just shook the fuck out of it. Just kept shaking it, and let it break, and let the glass stab me in a million pieces. This is the most pain I have felt in my entire life. I love him more then anything in this world, and I would do anything to have him feel the same way, but you can't change how people feel. I just wanted to grow old with him. Maybe he thought I expected too much? All I ever expected was that he really meant it when he said he loved me, which I guess he didn't. He held me while I was sleeping, and didn't say a word....

I have realized with all of this that I kind of am a nice person, I am always there for other people when they are sad, or are going through things, yet when I am going through the exact same thing, they aren't here for me. I do appreciate my friends that have been here for me, I just really don't have many of those. Nothing matters to me anymore. My holiday is ruined, my life is ruined. I want to pick up and leave, and if I had money to do so, then I would, in a heartbeat. I can't manage the thought of him breaking my heart anymore. I can play last night over and over in my head, I really didn't see it coming, I am devastated. Just a girl with a broken heart. He made me such a better person, and I am greatful for that, but I couldn't do that for him. I failed at doing that for him.


All I'm asking for is one night together. Just you and me. All alone. And if you can honestly say you don't feel anything for me after that night, I will finally let you go.

Today was just one of those days where everything I did reminded me of you and every song I heard somehow related to you. I hate days like today, because they remind me of the one thing I dont have.

I'm the one you're meant for and you're going to come back to me. So sure, break up with me now, but I'm telling you, you'll be back. You'll be back when you realize that you broke up with the one girl who was meant to be with you. But see, the thing is, you just better hope the girl is still there.

Love is putting up with someone's bad qualities because they somehow complete you.

Hold me when I cry, sleep with me on my drenched pillow, just for one night.