Life goes on...

Wow, I feel just so indifferent at the moment. I have so many random thoughts going through my head, and it's probably just because I brought up the past by reading old aol conversations with Ivan, and Nick, and some other people, and it just brought up a lot. I feel like I still have all of these mixed emotions with Nick, and even after all this time, I am so drawn to him, it's so weird, I mean, he was my first true love, but that doesn't mean I should go back to him, but just reading about how hard it was to get over him, just made me sick to my stomach. We have been talking a lot lately, and it's almost like he didn't move, but he did, and he made those decisions without discussing them with me, and it's just a lot to even process right now, I have no idea why I keep going back to guys that have hurt me the most. Boys suck, but so do my emotions! I just like being free I guess right now, going to the bar, hanging out, doing what I want, not listening to anyone else but myself, it's nice. I mean, sure I miss having someone to love and tell everything to, but that's what my best friends are for!