Using this more

So, I have decided that using this blog is probably going to help me a lot with my emotions and over reacting and handling situations better. I have been on a roller coaster of emotions lately, well, since the whole Ivan thing. It just seems to be getting worse lately, I have been more moody, and I seem more unhappy with my life. I am happy being alone, not dating anyone, which is great, but, I do want to date someone, I like someone a lot, and there are a lot of strings attached to the situation, and I know I would get hurt, so it's almost to the point where it's not worth my feelings being hurt, and not worth me being hurt. I guess sometimes liking someone, and seeing the red flag, is good now, then before I get myself invested, like I did before. I feel so uneasy about my life, I like my job, which is a first, but I hate my personal life. My friends suck, like really suck, to the point where it makes me so depressed that I allow them to suck the life out of me, but the only reason I sick around is because it's convenient and they are fun to hang out with, I just can't trust them with things, I can't tell them about my life, it's so one-sided, I feel like all they want to do is talk about their problems, and only want to do what they want, which I guess is karma, because Ivan said that's all I did, things that I wanted. I am done doing it though. I am tired of feeling like a burden, I am tired of feeling like I am inconveniencing them. I am only worrying about my feelings now. I have so much to write in here, and I am going to update it more often, my good way of venting :)