Therapy

I've said multiple times that I was going to use this blog more to get my feelings out, and I almost feel like, maybe I failed myself with that. I should take time to write here. I should take time to get my feelings out more often, because no one has my true feelings. No one really understands what I am going to, I mean, hell, I hardly know what I am feeling, my emotions like always, are all over the place. I don't know what to think, but I think that is okay. This is the first time in my life that I am just okay riding the wave and letting it take me where I need to go. Boys, friends, life....there is just so much going on. I hate that everyone is so judgmental on what I am doing with my life right now, and I think for the most part, it's because they don't understand, but it's not their situation to understand. I like how things are currently, I don't know what I want for the future. I mean, yes, eventually I want to be in a relationship where I am in love, and have a future with someone, but am I to that point right now? No, not at all. I have my own issues that I still need to work out. I have a lot of things I need to work out.....For some reason, I am just helping everyone else with their problems, why is that? I say over and over again, you need to put yourself first, and care for yourself first, and I am not doing that at all. I don't even know if I am capable of loving someone again. I don't even know where to go with this first blog, I could write for days and days, but I will stick to trying to update this at least once a week.